I’ve Been Here before, Now What?

I woke up today with all of my ideas, to-do’s dreams, things, and some in my mind. Do you ever feel stuck in your own maze of thoughts? Just grabbing a cup of coffee took me MENTALLY, to the gym first, next to my phone to check my Starbucks balance next, then while on my phone, I checked my bank account, remembered, I need to read my daily devotional before I did anything else, then realized the time, thought about things to post today, thought about my blog, what am I going to write about, text messages keep blowing my phone up, Ughh.. I have lot’s of laundry to fold that’s been in the basket for a week, should I watch TV while I fold? , Nah that will only suck me in. Maybe if I intensely clean my house, that will be my gym workout? I need coffee, I need to go to the grocery store, What should I do first? Let me make a list, let me grab my planner out.. over to the kitchen to finally just make myself a freaking cup of COFFEE!

All of this within about 20 min of brain space. Geeze! It’s enough to make you want to just go back under the covers, but I didn’t. I made a list, I fixed my coffee, and I set out to do one thing at a time. I’d love to tell you right now that that little list is filled with check marks and all has been completed, but it hasn’t. I mean it’s halfway finished, some things have been scratched off, and new things added, but it like me, is a work in progress.

If I may be honest, most days, those lists don’t get complete. Most days those to-do’s carry on to the next day or next week, and most days, they just don’t happen. It’s ok, I’m still here, and guess what, I’m still a freaking amazing person, with or without it. Here’s another truth, most days some items do get checked off, most days, I am accomplishing stuff, and most days, I at least have an idea of what got done and what didn’t. Some days I care, some days I don’t. I’ve learned to forgive myself, and move on.

My next point, task’s and to-dos are one thing, goals, dreams, and career desires, and you know the big stuff.. Well, that’s another thing.

Once again, if I’m being honest, I recently have found myself coming full circle with alot of things. 1 being a dream that was placed in my heart a few years ago, has resurfaced with fiery wings. So I have sat and given it much thought, consideration, prayer and have decided to act on it. Also, that I’m stuck crap up there ??, although I have systems in place to get unstuck, I need more!

I’ve been feeling more and more in the same position and well, stuck. Now before we go any further, I know all about patience, well I’m learning to be more and more patient, but as I wrote in my last piece about dreams, I also do not want to miss opportunities that are surfacing. I’ve been praying and submersing myself into God’s word, God does say I am enough and he is the mighty counselor, but I have felt a strong need to seek a mentor.

Without counsel, plans go awry,
But in the multitude of counselors they are established.

Proverbs 15:22 NKJV The Holy Bible

Because I have a little bit ( some would say more than a little bit) of compulsive nature in me, I have done my homework. I have researched programs, coaches, agencies, individuals and had a few consultations.

With the Lord’s, and my husband’s blessings, I am happy to say that I have finally come to a realization or to a point that I am seeking a business and personal mentor. A coach if you will. I have in the past, invested in workshops, events, and so on but I think it’s time to get some things inside me unstuck and propel to the next level. Not just dreaming, doing, and continually creating the life that I feel called to lead. This decision also came with the dream in my heart that resurfaced and I think I need a little clarity, guidance, and direction.

I’m both excited and hopeful about this new step, and I cannot wait to take you along with me every step of the way. I’m a little nervous about getting uncomfortable, but I am ready to grow some more. The place where I am today, I’ve been here before, and I’m ready to admit pruning and shaping are necessary for growth, and I’m ready for the new me to metamorphize into the new me.

This may be common knowledge to you, as it was to me, but the fact that I’m willing to invest in myself and admit that I need guidance was kinda big for me. It was a decision, and I know everything starts with a decision. I look forward to next time with you, and I pray that you are blessed, happy where you are, and where you are going.

Too often, people get stuck in a state of over-thinking, the result is that they never reach a decision.

Steve Backley, The Champion in all of us: 12 Rules for Success

Still Dreaming, Aren’t You?

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Eleanor Roosevelt

I have Dreams, I share about this a lot, so what. Some would say, hey you Stop Dreaming and Start Doing, Well guess what? I’m not going to stop dreaming. Ever! At least I hope not.

Do you Still Dream? There are so many things in my heart, my mind, and in my soul I dream of doing. Over the last few years, I’ve posed the questions to myself,do I dream too much? I am a woman of multiple dreams, and that makes me wonder about alot of things. Mainly , Why? I also ask are you just dreaming and and not going anywhere? To me, there’s nothing worse than regret, and feeling as if moments or opportunites have passed you by. I’ve done away with those thoughts andchoose to believe what’s meant to be will be. Moving on…

What are your dreams? I called my mother today before i started writing and asked, mom how old are you? She responds, 71 about to be 72. What a blessing! ( Check out this old article about my mom from 2 years ago) https://trustyourjourneybeauty.wordpress.com/2017/03/06/to-my-mother-who-is-alive-and-well/ And I proceed to ask her, Do you still have dreams? After going round for a few minutes about actual dreams like when u sleep, I say No, Like Dream Dream.” Are there still things in your life you want to accomplish?” I tiptoed to the questions, because believe it or not, a few years back before the stuff in the article posted above happened, I kinda think my mom stopped dreaming, but that’s just my opinion. (Sometimes, we’re scared to dream, or at least acknowledge dreams, because of fear. Fear of failure, fear of getting uncomfortable, or just plain and simply not wanting to move.) To my delight, she answered. ” Yes! I have many things I still want to accomplish.” I almost cried, I want her dreams to come true too, and I have dreams that involve her too. I asked her to write them down, and perhaps share with me at a later date.

I’ve come to a peace in my life. Acknowledge your dreams, write them down, keep working ( somebody’s gotta pay the bills) and take steps to pursue your dreams, one step at a time, one dream at a time. ( If you’re lucky, sometimes the dreams are wrapped in each other and multiple can happen at once. )

Sometimes , we get stuck, I know I have. I stumble across doubt, and fear, and stupid realizations of work, and paycheck to paycheck stuff like that. I pray, and God to fill me with contentment, and joy, which i have, but I still dream. I don’t really dream about things, I dream about actions, jobs, experiences, creating memories, and I dream for others too. There has been times where my dreams a crushed, or they happen and weren’t really all that to begin with, but we pursuit on. We live to fight another day and we keep dreaming and walking towards those visions. I believe God places dreams in our hearts to accomplish the steps that he wants us to take in our journey and some of those dreams simply give us delight, however God always sees the heart and what it is that we seek.

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4 The Holy Bible NKJV

I bring that up because I speak of direction, avoidance of being complacent, and guidance from above. These are dreams, things we want to accomplish. Some dreams that I have I wonder about though, some come and go, and some will not leave. For example since I was a kid I’ve always wanted to be a DJ. Like as a kid, the kind that worked inside the radio and played my music. The folks that told me what song was next so that I could get my tape ready to record. As an adult, I still dream of being a DJ. Both on the radio, and the kind that sets up and plays music or people. I like how the DJ just creates all kinds of memories and good times. Plus I really love music.

I do have to check myself sometimes, when my heart goes astray and my desires become many and strong, I have to check myself and stay in that delight of the Lord in prayer and supplication.

I believe in me, and I believe in my dreams. I dream of many things, I dream od dancing, I dream of writing ( guess what I write) I dream of having published books, I dream of inspiring others, I dream of graduating college. I dream of having grandchildren ( not yet though) , and I dream of growing old with my husband. I dream of being in ministry, I dream of singing my heart out, I dream of educating others, and I even dreaming of acting. I dream of seeing the look on kids faces the first time we all get on a plane, and I dream of seeing their dreams come true, whatever they may be. I dream of friendships, of heartlfelt moments, I dream of starting companies, and employing others. I dream that my husband and I will have our dream place, one we can run , we want a cafe. We want to serve wine and cheese and some yummy delights. We dream of offering others a quaint place to relax, we dream of vacations, and breathtaking views. I dream of being a poet and sharing my stories. I dream of serving others, and entering heavens gates, I believe in my dreams, I believe I am living my dreams, Aren’t You?

Some dreams came straight to me, my husband, my children, never could i have fathomed. I guess that’s what the bible means when it says he is able to give us more than we could Some of my dreams have come to pass, I’ve learned that not all dreams are meant to last. Some dreams take to you to the next place, some dreams are forever and some just to meet the next face. Dreams are a gift, and we should not have be afraid, we should never stop dreaming, I’m still dreaming. Aren’t you?

I Love Us

Happy Valentine’s Day to my Family

I Love Us

Happy Valentine’s Day friends! So typical right a Valentine’s Day post, well, I will have you know I have a very serious post in my drafts about my children and how they are growing up on me and asking where has the time gone. That was scheduled to go out last week, but such is life, and I just couldn’t miss the opportunity to be cliche and write a Vday post. What are your plans for Valentine’s Day? Or if you are reading this post-Vday, what did you do?

I will say this, my husband and I always celebrate big in one way or another, sometimes on the day and sometimes on the weekend. Sometimes, with just a glass of wine sitting outside, sometimes the best dinner you could think of spending lot’s of $$ and sometimes, we just have pizza and chocolate, after about 18 years of Valentine’s days, yes we’ve done a little bit of here and there. We’ve traveled a little, nothing crazy yet, we went to New Orleans, Fredericksburg, and Galveston, stuff like that. You see our anniversary is next week too, so it’s always kinda been a big deal to us. Earlier this week, I told my hubby, it’s no biggie and we didn’t have to do anything special, the truth is I meant it. There are just some times where you are content with chilling at home. His response was ~ “Crystal, I can’t accept that, it’s important that we take the time to honor each other and we are celebrating .” Imagine that.., I didn’t fuss, or argue, let it go and decided we would do what we do when the day came.

We looked into a few spots for reservations, but currently, my husband is on a fast, and his diet is very limited and with most restaurants having a selective menu tonight, that was a bit of a challenge. So, we have opted to go to a restaurant that we know will have plenty of choices for him. I mentioned how I have a post on draft about my kids, and how they are growing up on us. I love my children so much, and it’s such a fun adventure watching them grow into little adults and into adults. I reflect and love the memories that we have of when they were little, but I also appreciate the stage they are in now. We have a lifetime of Love to look forward too.

Earlier today, I contemplated between, getting my kiddos a heart-shaped pizza and hitting the town with my man, and what I really desired which was to take them out with us. There is a fun spot that I have wanted to take them to for a family night out. ( Spoiler alert, that will be a blog post soon depending on how quickly i can get them there.) My oldest works tonight and i really wanted to take all three with us. So It seems that it will be just the two of us. I was talking to my friend earlier telling her, I love my alone time with my man, but realize these moments with my kids are passing us by so quickly. She agreed with me. I pray they have a lifetime of great memories we have shared together and I look forward to creating many more.

I mean seriously, How cute is this?

That year pictured above was 8 years ago, we were working parents, I’m sure Valentines Day was on a school night, and I wanted to make it special for them too, I always have, they love it too. I got me and the hubs some wine, a little red stripe, I picked up a cherry or strawberry cheesecake? Chocolate covered strawberries, sparkling grape juice for the kids, and of course KFC as you can see. I even served it all on the fancy platter. I remember it feeling so incredibly special to me, mainly because it was us. I love us.

We have dinner plans but otherwise, it is still a little in the air what we actually do tonight, I’m sure whatever it is will be fantastic.


We’ve seen a small shift at home, Matt is growing up on us, he’s a great kid, but a kid that is yearning to spread his wings. He will be a Senior next year and is turning 17 soon. He at times is overwhelmed with all the growing up too. I don’t blame him. Matt, we love you and are so proud of you son. Life is filled with ups and downs, and for the most part, the ups are worth is all, love is worth it all, and you are worth it all to us too. The sweetest thing occurred with this kid; I had him download the Bible app a while back so he said to us yesterday, I get a sprinkle of Jesus every day. We didn’t know what he was talking about. So he went on to explain that every morning he gets the Bible verse of the day, and we said ohhhh, yes that sprinkle. <3 SO this morning, he shared his sprinkle with me on the way to school. (Thank you God that they miss the bus sometimes because we have moments like this. ) He shared.” And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three but the greatest is charity.” 1 Corinthians 13: 13, apparently he reads the KJV just like his daddy. I asked him to translate for me into the NJKV and here’s what it said. And now abide faith, hope and Love, these three, but the greatest of these is Love. (NKJV) Amen. Thank you, son, and yes the sprinkle was right. Love is the greatest of all these, yet how great are the others. I have so much hope and faith in you son. Imagine how Great Love is.

Isacc and Amanda

If God wills it, Isacc will be moving out this year, again. I’m very grateful that he lived on his own a while back while attending college, and that he was able to come home for more growth opportunity. I can see a shift in him too. I see he’s growing into a man, learning to be more responsible, and I can see a deep love for his longtime girlfriend is his eyes. He’s always cared and loved for her, but you know a deeper love, the kind that makes a momma proud, the kind of love like he wants to take care of her, and I can see his desire to do so. Son, we are proud of you too. I pray that the good Lord blesses you with all the desires of your beautiful kind heart. Amanda, his girlfriend, we love her too. I am looking forward to a lifetime of joy and memories with you God willing. He spent his Valentine’s yesterday with her and I’m thankful for that. Happy Valentine’s Day you two.


And Lina, my Little Love. She is strong as ever. We went through so much last year, One thing I can share with you about God’s love is this; Genesis 50:20 NKJV “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.” God is good y’all, and I see so much good in my little girl’s eyes and in her spirit. She’s been busy singing, playing her instruments, and recording social media. Her confidence is amazing, and she is growing into a FIERCE young lady with a heart of gold, honesty, and Love. Lina We love you so much and not only are you beautiful outside but down to your core momma. Don’t ever change. You are my best friend, and I am honored to be your mother.

Harvey and I

Happy Valentine’s Day my love, here’s to looking at you kid.

To My husband, whom I love very much. Thank you for always celebrating us. You help me to realize our time is precious, and you make me want to be the best version of me, for me. Thank you for always making me feel important, and for honoring me as your wife and mother of your children. I love growing older with you. It’s a pleasure and pure joy.

Well, it is getting late, and I have a date to prepare for. I hope that you have a wonderful evening regardless of what you do tonight. Please remember that God is Love and we can know true love because he loved us first. You are never alone, and you are more precious than you know. Have a blessed evening, Until next time.


Here we go 2019!

Welcome back to the blog! I’m super excited to be back on the grind and writing again. So yes, here we are a new year, and if you’re like me, things are just now settling into their own. The Goals are not only in place but now actually in motion.

The holidays were totally great but can feel like a cluster of events with one event onto the next.

Many new opportunities and happenings have arrived for me, so as always I’m taking you along with me.

My goal for this page is to create fun new content in different areas of interests. Starting afresh with the new year, and all the new adventures that are coming with it.

I am back in school, taking a few classes and this is my second semester back in college. College is different for this 40-year-old mother of 3. Last semester was pretty good, I only took 2 classes to get back into the swing of things. This semester I am taking 3 classes and hope to take extras over summer and winter breaks to speed up a bit. As a more mature student, things are a little different, and my memory is not as photographic as it used to be, making it a little different for me, and I do find I have to work a little harder at remembering info for tests, and classwork. I think at this point in life, once I apply it more it seems to soak in best. Last semester I squeaked out with 2 A’s and I am working on that same 4.0 GPA this semester. It’s fun for the most part, and most days keeps me thinking and keeps me sharp. I am addicted to learning so school has overall been very good for me and has kept me on my toes.

And she loves it!


So, I did set some goals for the year, but they were mostly a continuation of the direction I wanted to take my life. Obviously, I have goals that I want to achieve and wrote them down, but I think I focused more on what I wanted from myself mentally, spiritually, financially, physically and am hoisting myself into that direction. I decided to nurture myself to just be BETTER than I had been. Better is my word for the year and Better than I was is what I am aiming for.

With that being said, here’s what I am currently focused on. I am still leading a weekly calendar planning group. We are called Coffee, Calendars, and Conversation. So in our group and my philosophy currently is embedding the habits or activities i am focused on right now, and nothing else. So I write these things down weekly and everything else that comes my way is on the back burner or getting turned down. It is all about focus right now. For example my focuses are :

Spirituality, Work, My weekly Planning Group ( which is my organizational time), Health and Fitness, Family ( includes date night, kiddo time and activities), I am focused on 1 personal social activity a week to keep me from reclusiveness, school which i already mentioned, My Blog ( my goal is to blog weekly) and this deserves my time and attention because I love it!, and my side hustle for extra money which is my One Hope Wine Tasting Business.

I figure this is plenty for me to focus on, build some great time-based habits, a schedule, and then we can add more or take away as needed. I will also revisit this structure quarterly for tweaking.

I just started a new job as well, which I’m very happy with and looking to stay put right now through school God willing. Like i mentioned new things, i had been praying for are now in motion.

So that’s it in a nutshell for the New Year in motion. It may seem like a lot or not a lot, but for me it works right now, and at the end of the day, you have to find and do what works best for you. In my group we had a vision board creating session and if you peek below here is mine. It motivates, makes me want to do better in all things, and just all around makes me happy. I highly suggest you creating one to keep in your dreams and vision in sight. Well, that’s all for now and i will be writing more and of course dive into lot’s of life weekly with you. I appreciate any feedback insight or comments below! Thank you and God Bless your day!

Continually Crystal

How You Gonna Write When You Ain’t Right Within

Happy Fall Yall! Yes, I’m from Texas and that’s how we do it! Unfortunately, because I am from Texas, fall is here but at the same time, it’s not. A typical day in October boasts temperatures of 85 -90 degrees? Bring on the Breeze!

So, here’s the thing, this article is simply a means to get out of not writing mode. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to write. Like always, had so much going on. I’ve revamped this page a few times to the best I could, for now, eventually, I’d like to get some help making it just the way I want it to be, and you better believe I have a very very big vision for this page and myself as a writer.

When I last wrote I had just become a Stay at Home Mom when I say a lot has happened. Yes, A lot has happened. In a nutshell, here are some things that have occurred, and I’d like to dig deeper into these topics, but like I said I just had to start somewhere again. Does anyone else have that problem? Big vision thinking and no small actions occurring to get you there. Here is your cue, just push play! Start! Please! For the Love. ( You know I’m talking to myself, right? ) Ok, so as promised here is the list of occurrences.

  • I stopped working to stay at home, keep the house immaculate, and be the perfect mommy.
  • I did not do the above^^
  • I was, however, in the right place at the right time. We had some issues with one of my children in which the fact that I was home, I was there to heal with my child and grow forward together. We as a family healed together, and I was home to see it all happen. God is Good you guys.
  • During all that ^^^ I became depressed, had major anxiety issues, and retreated into one of the worst isolation phases I had ever experienced. Isolation is, in my opinion, one of the biggest tools of the enemy, and I recently discovered that. (Please look out for my next blog post, let’s talk about this some more, and if you are currently in isolation mode, meet a friend for coffee or go volunteer somewhere.)

What started out as self-care and taking time out from the world quickly became just that ISOLATION. I was in one of the biggest depressions I had ever experienced. I felt alone and like no one understood what I was going through since I couldn’t talk to many about what I was going through. I’m grateful to this day I knew to react to what I was going through. Crying daily and feeling alone is not normal and you are not alone. I kept hearing a bible verse in my head. “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” Proverbs 11:25 NIV

  • Daily I read God’s word and decided to act. I made a few lunch appointments with good friends that I knew would lift me up and scheduled a few volunteer opportunities.
  • Did I mention at the beginning of all of this I pretty much shaved all of my hair off? Haha – In my defense, it was damaged, I wasn’t working and figured it was a good time for a clean start. Plus my daughter had just gone bald, so I wanted to join her. Viva la Pixie cuts!
  • The day that changed everything for me, was at a volunteer event. I volunteered with Houston’s Christian Radio Station KSBJ 89.3 at a Third Day Concert. This was revolutionary for me, the fact that I went alone, and oh my goodness was God with me. Check out my next post on isolation and let’s dig deeper on this event as well.
  • I also registered and followed through with going back to school! That’s right, I am currently a college student to receive an A.A. and God willing will continue on to get a B.A. (My current path is in writing.)
  • School began for both me and my kiddos, I went back to work part-time for financial purposes. Being a stay at home mom is not free and as I discovered for the moment wasn’t for me.

What I thought would be a picture-perfect moment of staying at home, quickly became a bout of inactivity creating more inactivity. Toss in family hardships, traumatic events, and not enough income coming in and you quickly slide down a downward spiral. However, everything changed with wanting to serve others, getting my mind off of me and my own problems, and activity! Just like gratitude, activity reciprocates, and I hope to God never to be that stuck again. It happens, and I forgive myself. I reflect on that time as such a learning curve, and thankful for where it spit me out. I was never alone, God walked with me the entire time, and I with him. To all of my friends, family, and to my husband who never gave up on me, and didn’t allow me to give up on myself, I love you! Dearly, I love you. Please post your thoughts or comments below and let me know what you are thinking.

I want to positively remind you if you are experiencing a feeling of being lost or not in your element, hang in there, and don’t give up, and as always. Trust your Journey Beauty. Yes, you. You are Beautiful! Until next time.

with Love and much Encouragement for you,
Crystal Ybarra

My name is Crystal Ybarra ~

I am a wife, mother of 3 and a God fearing woman who is embracing life one step at a time. I began blogging as a means of coping with depression, and anxiety. What I found was a need for God and to share with others every step of my personal journey. You never know who’s listening to your story and who’s life you are impacting. Welcome to my blog and thank you for being a part of our community.

Continually, Crystal